My uncle died
recently. While we were not the closest, he was still an important family mentor, figure,
and hero. It still gets me to think deeply about life. How are we living this one wild and precious life? What does it mean? How do we approach our everyday?
We often get stuck in the routine of everyday not appreciating the miracle of
the small moments in our lives that make it so amazing. I don’t know what it is
about a death in the family or your network of friends, but it always draws out
an enhanced awareness of life. Everything becomes more raw, more rich, more
vivid. Sunrises, conversations with strangers, my toddler’s giggle, the way the light plays on trees. In addition
a death is a division of relationship that wrenches the love and relationship
with that person apart and completely changes how it continues. Existentialists
may bemoan the finality of life at death, but there are countless stories of
memories of the deceased that point to the fact that the relationship endures.
The legacy and memory live on in poignant moments that buoy our grieving
hearts. My esteemed colleague Kim Bateman, Phd and Dean of Students at Sierra
College, tells of a wonderful tradition of singing over bones in a way that
honors the legacy of our passed relations. As my cousins and I consider a
fishing trip in honor of my uncle, I challenge you to remember those who have
been influential and important in your life for better and worse, living and
passed. Have you hugged them? Have you remembered them? Have you sung over
bones? Have you listened to their updates? These connections enrich our lives
and our relationships in a way that increase meaning and importance of others
in our lives. It takes time; it sometimes takes work; it sometimes brings up
baggage. Yet here's to living our lives and enriching our process through those
we love and interact with. Especially through the mundane of everyday. Live out
loud; live together; live in honor of those how have contributed to your
process; live grateful for your wild and precious life. Cheers Uncle *. We love
and miss you.