Seeking a world counter to the “Dog Eat Dog” mentality.

When was the last time you saw a dog eat another dog? The last time I saw two dogs interact, they were sniffing butt and play chasing each other back and forth until they were exhausted. They would rest and then do it again. The dog world is more like sniff each other out and play till you are exhausted. Granted my dog has had issues with other dogs in the neighborhood, but there was no dog eating going on. I believe we have been duped into believing that cutthroat competition is the philosophy that will lead to our fulfillment in life.
I recently assigned a writing prompt fishing for a personal reflection on my students’ sense of cultural identity. Many identified that seeking and obtaining money was a priority. Some were willing to forget personal hopes and desires in order to live with lots of money. Sure money might buy all kinds of stuff, but does it buy us fulfillment or even a sense of self identity? According to Minecraft creator, MarkusPersson, not at all. While discussing the American dream with a few students, one was adamant that taking care of number one (selfishness) was the order of the day and American culture forces you to be that way because everyone believes in it. Yet it is a hollow promise. Society (or at least a few key people with lots of money and power) tells you one thing in order to serve itself. She went on to say that there was no hope left in the world because the opposite of hope is fear and everyone is afraid of losing money, happiness, friends, etc. It was truly sad to think that this was true; I couldn’t help but argue that it wasn’t true, it doesn’t need to be true, and for our own sanity shouldn’t be how we organize our lives. 
American life has potential to present the ultimate proof of Buddhist thought. Desires bring suffering. Ignorance is not bliss, but a form of suffering. If you reduce desire than there is less suffering. We desire the “good life” but yet depression, bullying, gun violence, widespread judgment, and poverty are realities that we can’t seem to shake. While this may not be true for a billionaire, who has everything, who can throw elaborate parties, who may be the poster child of the good life, finding fulfillment is going to be difficult, building relationships with people is going to be difficult, because there are not very many people who can relate to the billionaire. There are many people who identify with struggle, hard work, and occasionally success. 
While we all have the goal of pursuing happiness, it has become a shallow materialistic enterprise. Those that have the most toys wins? Really? The materialistic attainment of stuff in pursuit of happiness is a farce. What is happiness? According to the school of positive psychology, one formula is gratitude over gratification.  Even if you delay gratification you see positive results (cool study testing kids with marshmallows). If you practice gratitude on a situation to situation basis, it doesn’t matter if you are a paraplegic or the poorest person in your neighborhood; if you are grateful for what you have and what you experience, you will be happier. Modern psychology also identifies that a sense of community or belonging is a human need. Human connection is actually a new response to everything from depression to addiction. 
Is fear the opposite of hope? Fear is a function of worry that perceives threats or danger; in the face of the American materialistic lifestyle, fear might be an emotional response to the idea that you might not achieve something or you might lose something that might lessen your condition, your lifestyle, or your situation.  Are we really in danger if we don’t have what we want? If we suspend attachment to things, outcomes, conditions, or even whole lifestyles, then, when things shift and change, we are more able to adjust and change with them. If we resist, in most cases we will just be spending lots of energy. 
Yet back to the marshmallow study that proves delayed gratification, the environment or culture can negate any benefits due to trust issues.  Aikido practice seeks to harmonize with the natural social world. Western practice seeks to order the natural social world. While neither is easy or even, in some situations, possible, each has a very different intention and potential outcome: harmony versus competition with the external. A competitive environment begets mistrust and survivalist attitudes. Therefore the ultimate practice in seeking happiness would be to harmoniously pursue gratitude, community, and reduction of fear. 
Parallel to the Buddhist idea that ignorance brings suffering, the opposite can also be true. Self-knowledge and the seeking of wisdom and understanding can reduce the insecurity of unhappiness and fear. Coupled with gratitude and a sense of belonging, one who seeks to best know oneself and share their experience with others would be the most happy and fulfilled. I know this to be true since when I saw my first marriage disappear; holding on to judgment and expectations lead to suffering, but when I sought self-awareness and self-knowledge with compassion and understanding, I couldn’t help but move on to a better life. 
One step further I am reminded of a great conversation with my sister years ago; one that concluded that self-centeredness is not the same as self-awareness and each has very different impacts on the individual, their community, and their culture. One such topic in a recent blog addresses this issue, but commentary points to the fascination with social media as evidence that we are more self-absorbed and only more self-aware when we unplug. 
So back to the dog eat dog analogy. We are more fulfilled when we genuinely connect with ourselves, with others, and in a legitimate way with our communities with gratefulness and compassion, not when we compete till the death, even if our culture tells us this is how it is.