On Being

Just be. This is harder than it really suggests. How can you be more fully in the moment? Sure. Meditate more, exercise more, change your outlook.  Eckhart Tolle preaches the “(p)ower of (n)ow” to be fully engrossed in the possibility of the present. Eschew the past and the future and glory in the present. Eckhart calls on images on Sufi and Christian mystics who preach the same. Like most things there are ideals that are great suggestions, but the practical reality is more difficult to practice.

In modern life, culture and society expresses and changes so fast that we hardly have time to breathe. While full, present-centered mindfulness can be seen as apathetic, so can being fully engrossed in modern life. In a recent social media post, a grade school boy reflects that he wishes he was a smart phone so that his parents would give him as much attention as they do their phones. Sure, we understand the consequences and we see it in our relationships, our health, and our schedules. Living in the now seems like a pipe dream to those struggling to pay the bills, stay on top of professional demands, and throw the last shreds of energy to our loved ones. Where do we find the time? Even intentions to meditate, exercise, call home, spend time with my spouse, my family, my friends, etc., etc., etc. ad nauseam becomes a disappointed effort more often than not. Admittedly, I get moments to myself to be more present and aware, but who isn’t more and more challenged by the demands of everyday modern life?

Yet there are hooks on which I can catch myself to be more aware and draw myself into the present. I have come to savor my afternoon dog walks. I tend to wait until just before dusk to enjoy the last flecks of the day dancing on the clouds and morphing in broad colorful brush strokes of bright oranges, the slightest pinks, and deepening purples. The dog’s panting anticipation for just one more throw helps to call from the portrait of the present to the depths of my mental prisons to enjoy a peaceful and fun moment.

I recently took a family out on the lake as part of a discovery tour and I usually start by asking where the clients are from. Typically, if they are from the city, I add as a last reflection before they head back to the beach a bit of a meditative prompt. Notice now that you are in the middle of a very peaceful and pleasant place. Drink that peace in and remember this later back in the city, in traffic, as the phone is ringing, and our life demands call and call again. I must admit is a very pleasant reflection when you are on the water after a fun and adventurous paddle, but very difficult to do in the midst of the everyday roar for attention. Yet it is significant to realize that being at peace is key to being in the present when the crazy is full on, full force. If you don’t know peace, you cannot hope to find it in challenging moments. The dad sat back and a broad smile grew across his face. The mom giggled. The son closed his eyes. The daughter just looked around. As the peace of the moment poured into them each in their own way, they were more able to take it with them.

The next level of this challenge is how do you recall this feeling or awareness of peace in the middle of the din? I have a favorite campfire story that I heard from a dear friend in college who reportedly heard it from a native friend of hers. In the story there is a friend who visits the city with another friend. The distracted friend notices all the noise and people and traffic, while the focused friend walks peacefully and calmly as if nothing bothers him. He even claims to hear a cricket. They make a bet and the focused friend starts off on a journey to find the cricket. One block, two blocks, and on the corner of the third block, he stops. There is a newsstand with an attendant and racks of the latest papers and magazines arranged to sell. The attendant is shouting the latest news to passersby and prompting them to stop. The focused friend approaches the newspaper stand and greets the attendant. The attendant responds hoping that he will make a sale. The focused friend asks to check for something behind his newspaper stand. Puzzled, he approves and moves his attention to the distracted friend. The story of the bet ensues. Meanwhile the focused friend emerges from the back of the newsstand with a cricket on his finger. He smiles as he notices the jaws drop on the newspaper attendant and the distracted friend. How did you do that? He excuses himself and frees his little friend. He returns to the front of the newsstand and as the newspaper attendant goes back to selling papers shaking his head. The focused friend reaches deep in his pocket, looks around, and pulls out a handful of change. He raises his hand high and throws the change down on the pavement. All around those who were rushing to get somewhere, hailing taxis, or dodging passersby stopped and looked down at the change. For a moment everything seemed to pause as coins rolled, and bounced, and spun in place. And then just like that it all started up again. The focused friend shared that if you are looking for the change, you will hear the change, but if you are listening for the cricket, you will hear the cricket.

The wisdom of this story resonates in your mindset, your purpose, your focus. While it is portrayed as simplistically and idealistically black or white, that our minds can be divided either in a pure, focused, peaceful state or a distracted, misguided, and delusionary state, reality is quite different. Narrative when oversimplified can belittle reality, but when deep and poignant can enhance and enrich our reality. The challenge for any audience of narrative is to mine its relative meaning as it applies to our perception. My struggle in science class as a kid was vast discussions of abstract theories; how does this apply to my life, to my reality, to this situation or to that? If it wasn’t clear, it became a disconnect. It was too distracting because I couldn’t use it to focus on that which interested me. The challenge then isn’t whether or not you are properly focused, but how you are properly disciplined. That in and of itself changes with every day and every situation. One day the story of the distracted character resonates; on another the focused one makes more sense.

The late Irish poet John O’Donohue has a fascinating reflection on beauty and soulfulness that could completely change our life experience. If you view everything to have spirit and vibrance and energy, you would greet the day with such a greater sense of perception. Colors pop, subtle environmental factors dance and sing, and small events can seem like major meaningful symphonies of interconnected resonance. O’Donohue waxes with a rare depth about our becoming in our perception of our physical experiences. This I think gets at the heart of the challenge. We are practicing this thing called perception, becoming, if you will, perceptive. David Abram discusses in his book The Spell of the Sensuous the art and philosophy of phenomenology. We are experiential beings that are exploring this thing called life. Yet as we are exploring and practicing, there are so many distractions. Abrams, O’Donohue, Tolle, and countless mystics and gurus bemoan the destruction of distraction. We must, as we are exploring this distraction laden reality, be aware of our development as practitioners of peace. We have our moments of clarity and flow and our moments of overwhelmed stress that verges on insanity. Having a center, creating atmosphere, recognizing symbols, or honoring traditions that hold peace for us can certainly help.

Yet at the same time in the midst of all these distractions is the experience. Then is there no eternal peaceful place if everything is energetic or fluid, relative or social? The resonance of life is its vibrant bouncing off of experience like refracting waves on a shore. O’Donohue even eludes to the great conversation between the deep ocean and the edge of the shore. Not just from a natural standpoint, but a figurative one, what a beautiful perceptive. Perhaps everything is a conversation of experience and our peace is in the listening, our art and our work is in the expressive song and dance that inspires us. Even in our darkest moments as O’Donohue quotes Pascal we must “carry something beautiful in your heart.”

Just being is then not just a powerful moment that is fleeting and passing that we must grasp with a relentless focus, but a continuous practice of experiential perception that is dynamic and eternal. We must trust the process and realize that in order to just be we must engage fully with our becoming. Therein the beauty of being never ceases. Despite how crazy and distracting our lives can be, how complicated our past was, and glorious our hopes for the future might be. Here's to your journey. Here's is to your becoming.